I slipped out and bolted into the change room, falling to my knees on the carpet. Was I sobbing? That’s an understatement. I howled like a little Malamut pup who’d lost its mother: uncontrollable, loud cries of anguish ripped out of my throat, one after the other, followed by sobbing tears from deep in my belly. I had little control over any of this. My body was intent on expressing the pain it was finally, unpredictably, able to express.